What Have I Become
by PeacefulWarrior82
Summary: A short fic involving my semi-oc Toba Hyuuga and just what his relationship to Hizashi was like. Kinda sad fic.


For the record, in my fics Toba Hyuuga is the father of Hiashi and Hizashi, some people have asked me how Toba could place the curse seal on his son. Well this is some if the side to that story. To get more info on Toba Hyuuga, you'll have to read my other fics.

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Artist: Johnny Cash

Song: Hurt

What Have I Become

Toba Hyuuga sits on the porch of the Hyuuga compund watching the sun rise. He had gotten up early that morning, but not due to a special event or because he had errands to run. Today was the anniversary, but not an anniversary worth celebrating, and all Toba could do is reminisce back.....

_**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything.........**_

Toba's hands trembled as he rested them on his knees. He looked on daring not to cry. Hizashi, his son, held his head in discomfort with a fresh curse seal, the damed seal that drove Toba's baby sister to resent him almost right up to her death, the seal the clan forced the leader to perform, etched into his forehead. Hizashi looked up at his father. The question he asked " Was he still his son?" drove the Hyuuga leader to clutch Hizashi in a gripping hug never wanting to let go. He would always be his son.

_**What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt.....**_

Toba dashed into the room to see what had happened, there was Hiashi and there was his brother, on the floor clutching his head in agony. Toba demanded an explanation of his older son. As to why Hiashi activated his brother's seal at this point was irrelevant, when Toba looked down at Hizashi, he saw eyes that seemed to cut into his very soul, it was not the first time he had been the target of those eyes, most branch members shot them at him when they believed he wasn't noticing. But for these eyes to come from his own 10 yr old son tore him up inside, the tear filled eyes that screamed **I HATE YOU!!!**

_**I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here**_

"Hizashi...please....don't do this..." Toba pleaded with his son. " Oto-sama....one of your sons must die tonight. It makes no sense for it to be Hiashi." Hizashi said. " The council will think this is a good idea." " I don't give a damn what the council thinks!!" Toba bellowed. "Oto-sama...please....allow me the privelidge to choose my own destiny." Toba stood shocked. Later in the night, Toba kneeled beside his son as he slipped away. " Servant...inform the council.....that it is done...." Toba said. The servant complied and left Toba alone with his son. He looked so peaceful, at complete ease. Toba slowly began to clutch his son's shirt as tears which should never be seen in the head Hyuuga's eyes began to roll down his cheeks The more he looked upon his son, the more vividly the memory of the day he was born came back. Toba held him in his arms, he was so small, so fragile, Hizashi looked up at smiling and giggling, Toba remembered what he said to him that day. That he would always protect him. Without even realizing it, Toba had his son's head clutched against his chest as he cried out, decades of guilt, remorse, and anguish poured through his eyes.

_**What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**_

" Hinata...I love you very much." Toba uttered. Hinata lifted her head, making eye contact with Toba. " I love you to 'Jii-san." Hinata said." Tell...the clan I..love..." Toba tried to say with his dying breath." I will 'Jii-san, I'll tell them you love them as well." Hinata said.

Toba smiled for the last time as the grip on his granddaughter's hand tightened. He then slowly closed his eyes and drifted away happy that he got to say goodbye to someone he loved. Hinata felt the grip in her hand become limp. She watched in pain as her grandfather's hand slowly slid from hers. She then wrapped her arms around Toba and let out a small yelp of sorrow. " 'Jii-san!" Hinata said.

Moments later Toba's eyes slowly re-opened, what he saw standing in front of him shocked but did not surprise him, in front of him was his son Hizashi....smiling. Hizashi slowly extended out his hand. Toba reached out, as Hizashi pulled him up their eyes met, Toba showing nothing less than remorse and shame, but Hizashi's eyes showing only forgiveness. Father and son began to walk as they slowly faded away.

_**If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find........ a way..........**_

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Hope you all enjoyed it, reviews are most definitely welcomed.


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